I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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