i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
You took a bar mat shot.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
