I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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