Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
