Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
