Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
