Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
