who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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