almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
