That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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