My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I believe in your delicious
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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