a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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