You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
