the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
