You're my little dorito
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
