ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
