I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize