ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Your dad touched me again.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
