I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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