you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
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