We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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