Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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