Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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