Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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