and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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