Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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