just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize