so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
