what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
