Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
