I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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