Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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