I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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