she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
