He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
