I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
We left an ass print on the piano.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
