I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
