haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
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