i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
