yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
