Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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