Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
