matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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