the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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