I faked an abortion last night.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
