My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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