just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
you will always have a special place in my vag
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize