That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
