If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
