Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
