You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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