i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
