Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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