my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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