I want to have your abortion
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
