All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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