obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
