help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I wish there were birth control emojis
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize